Soapwatch: CLAUDIA CONNELL's ultimate insight into the week's soaps


Weddings, funerals, house buying – the things that are nightmares to navigate in real life are sailed through with ease in Soapland. So it stands to reason that adoption should also be totally unrealistic too.

It’s generally no bad thing when soap parents put their children up for adoption – as they will surely fare better if raised by anyone else. Yet somehow the child in question always ends up boomeranging back to them.

Take Raymond in EastEnders. Denise had him adopted, only for him to be returned three years later. It’s only been a year and the poor mite has already been abducted.

In Emmerdale, Kyle was taken into care after his dad Cain didn’t want to know and his mum Amy couldn’t cope. Now back with Cain, he’s just survived a brush with death after getting hypothermia on a camping trip.

And the people who adopted Abi’s twins in Coronation Street are the most accommodating people in the world. Despite moving to Australia, they recently agreed to return to Weatherfield so the twins’ ex-junkie birth mother could spend Christmas with them!  

CORONATION STREET: SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL

Head teacher Mrs Crawshaw (pictured right, with Daniel) is forced to take action on the upskirting incident in Coronation Street

Head teacher Mrs Crawshaw (pictured right, with Daniel) is forced to take action on the upskirting incident in Coronation Street

Following Summer’s upskirting incident, Amy investigates and discovers that several other girls at school have also been victims. She daubs ‘stop protecting sex offenders’ on the school wall, which leads to her suspension. 

Summer publishes a letter on social media in support of her friend that ends up going viral. Before long, with the help of Daniel, the Gazette are involved and head teacher Mrs Crawshaw is forced to take action.

Sally becomes convinced that Tim is having an affair and Shona has clocked that he’s spending a lot of time with Aggie and starts to gossip about it. 

Sally tracks Tim to Aggie’s house where a confrontation leads to the revelation that her husband isn’t being unfaithful, he’s just been concealing his serious heart condition. And, right on cue, Tim collapses and is carted off to hospital.

Merry widow Jenny continues to enjoy dates with Leo, who introduces her to his flatmates, making her realise just how big the age gap is. When Leo suggests she meets his parents she starts to panic. Why is she even bothering with a limp lettuce like Leo anyway when randy Ronnie is still keen?

EASTENDERS: GRAY DAYS FOR CHELSEA

Whitney and Kheerat (pictured) tell an anxious Chelsea to stick to their plan for getting rid of Gray in EastEnders

Whitney and Kheerat (pictured) tell an anxious Chelsea to stick to their plan for getting rid of Gray in EastEnders

Whitney and Kheerat tell an anxious Chelsea she must stick with their plan if they are to nail Gray. Unfortunately for Chelsea, the plan seems to be that she carries on living with a serial killer until she can get a passport, register Jordan’s birth and leave the country. 

Chelsea knows that if Gray gets his name on the birth certificate, she’ll never be rid of him and plots a way to register her son on the sly. Will the scheme come off? With Kheerat and Whitney masterminding it, I think we all know the answer.

In anticipation of a jail sentence, Phil starts to put his affairs in order and decides he’ll sell the business as Ben is not up to looking after it. What, one MOT a fortnight? 

Even Lexi could cope with that. Phil hasn’t been honest with Kat about how bad things are but they admit their feelings for one another. Never mind that, Kat, just get your mitts on the combination to Phil’s safe and the wads of cash it seems to contain.

Mick gives Rainie flowers to thank her for helping with his Linda dilemma, but she lies to Stuart about where they came from and he questions her loyalty. Janine pleads with Mick to let her use The Vic’s address as her place of residence to boost her chances of getting Scarlett back. 

He agrees, and Jay accuses Mick of having an affair in front of the whole pub. Stuart gets the wrong end of the stick and assumes Jay is referring to Rainie. Poor Mick, no wonder he has panic attacks.

EMMERDALE: NOBODY CLOCKS THE BOX!

Leyla and Jacob (pictured) fail to spot Meena's trinket box of victim trophies in the dirt at the allotment in Emmerdale

Leyla and Jacob (pictured) fail to spot Meena’s trinket box of victim trophies in the dirt at the allotment in Emmerdale

Meena is on the run but when Leyla and Jacob go to inspect the damage at the allotment they fail to spot her trinket box of victim trophies in the dirt. Later Sam covers the box with earth while digging and it seems the evidence could be lost forever.

Chas and Marlon discover that the insurance on the pub is not valid because they hadn’t mentioned the development plans. 

Liv learns that until Manpreet wakes up she won’t be released from prison, news that sends her in search of more illegal hooch. But, not to worry, the dozy Dingle clan have a plan… to bust her out.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.