Woman whose husband told her she was ‘too much of a worrier’ to be a good mother is warned her ‘unkind’ partner is making excuses not to have children and may end up ‘resenting’ a family
- The Mumsnet user explained how she never wanted kids before turning 30
- Since hitting the milestone, the woman said she has been ‘longing’ for a child
- Her husband says he ‘could be swayed’ but thinks she’s too much of a ‘worrier’
Mothers have slammed an ‘unkind’ husband for making his wife doubt whether she’d be a good parent because of her personality.
Posting on Mumsnet earlier this week, the anonymous woman – believed to be from the UK – explained how she and her husband had previously agreed that they didn’t want to ever children of their own. However since turning 30, the woman said she’s had a complete change of heart.
When she approached the subject with her partner, the anonymous woman said he was ‘shocked’ at first and then told her that he ‘could be persuaded’ – especially as they are in a comfortable financial position.
However, she was left stunned when he told her that her personality was what was stopping him from taking the plunge.
The couple had previously agreed not to have children until the anonymous woman started ‘longing’ for a baby after turning 30 (Stock image)
She wrote: ‘I’ve been constantly feeling broody and longing for a child. It’s sort of a maternal ache I’ve never felt before.’
The woman added: ‘His main concern is my personality, as to whether I’d cope with a baby and whether I’d regret the decision down the line.
‘I’m the first to admit that I’m naturally a worrier and over-thinker, whereas (my husband) is very calm and chilled.
‘If anything I’m highly strung. I do tend to be stressed easily and I don’t deal particularly well with challenges and stressful events.
The woman’s husband made her question whether she would be a good mother because of her tendency to worry
‘I also grew up as an only child and I’m still a bit selfish.’
Turning to the parenting forum for advice, the woman added: ‘Am I being unreasonable in thinking I’d cope?’
She later added: ‘I do find myself worrying and ruminating on things that other people probably take more in their stride.’
Other parents blasted the ‘unkind’ husband’s reasoning.
Parents blasted the husband for his ‘unkind’ reasoning and said it sounded like he didn’t actually want a baby
One replied: ‘The thing is, there are no guarantees. Previously chilled out people can become significantly less so and stressy people less stressed.
‘What it does sound like though, is that your husband doesn’t want a baby and is finding a way out that makes it appear like your “fault”, not his.’
‘Loads of people with all sorts of personality traits manage to parent successfully,’ another added. ‘You sound quite like me, and while I certainly haven’t found parenting easy, my kids are in fairly good shape so far!’
Jumping to her defence, a third wrote: ‘It’s not about your personality per se but how you’re going to adapt and change to make way for a baby and also if you need to work on any parts of yourself that you wouldn’t want a baby picking up on/learning from.’
Meanwhile, a fourth said: ‘Having a kid may be just the thing you need.’