Gutfeld: Florida's 'lucky' to dodge LA 'creeps' who want to teach young kids about sex

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Let’s honor the brave Board of Supervisors of Los Angeles County. 

Did they finally solve their rampant homeless and drug addiction problem? Of course not. 

Did they clean up Skid Row? Fat chance. 

Did they reverse the rise in murder and gang violence? Not on your life. 

LA COUNTY VOTES TO SUSPEND OFFICIAL TRAVEL TO FLORIDA, TEXAS OVER PARENTAL RIGHTS, TRANSGENDER LAWS

Los Angeles cityscape at dusk (iStock)

Los Angeles cityscape at dusk (iStock)

Are they at least protecting celebrities from awards shows — slappings? No. 

They did something more amazing: They barred official travel to Florida because the state’s parental rights bill, or what the idiots call the “Don’t Say Gay” law. 

You know, the law that bans in-depth instruction of sex and gender to kids third grade and under. It’s the law that if you’re against it, could explain why you hide a bag of lollipops under your trenchcoat. 

So what was Florida’s response to hearing L.A. County staffers won’t be coming? 

Empty Classroom In Elementary School. 

Empty Classroom In Elementary School. 
(Education Images/Universal Images Group via Getty Images)

Yeah, talk about inconsolable. The L.A. board claims the law harms trans kids, but they have less evidence of that than we have that Brian Stelter has abs. 

But I say, “Hooray.” I am so happy there are people who want to teach toddlers about sex because you don’t want a 4-year-old boy making an a– of himself when he makes his move on Britney in the sandbox. 

Normally, people would find this age-inappropriate, but no, says the L.A. board. Let’s get these brats why they still have that soft spot on their heads. 

Eight-year-olds, 4-year-olds, 1-year-olds — what’s the difference? Maybe a couple of baby teeth. That’s the problem with toddlers, they can barely talk about radical feminism, let alone gender identity. 

So why not show them war crime footage while we’re at it? Get them ready. Now we wish this Florida law didn’t have to exist, but it does. 

It’s like the warning on a dry cleaning bag telling you not to place it over your head. That means someone has already done it. 

It’s also the death of age-inappropriateness. No responsible adult lets a child drive a car, vote or get a tattoo. So why would we force kids to talk about sex, gender, when they should be thinking about nap time and recess? 

Of course, the travel ban is pointless virtue-signaling, and really, it punishes the L.A. County workers because where would they rather be in the summer? Here in L.A., the home of infamous Skid Row, or here in Florida, the home to miles of beautiful beaches? 

Or would you rather be here, a place where crime and violence flourishes? Or be here, a place defined by fun in the sun? 

And who would you prefer to hang out with: these empty-headed celebrities, or this? I mean, how is that not gay? You can’t spell manatee without man. 

Fact is, L.A. County is way more anti-gay because they’re anti-people in general. And Florida is more pro-gay than L.A. because they’re pro-freedom and pro-fun. 

Rather than protect gays or straights from hate crime or any crime, they exact their justice against the state, Florida, that’s minding its own damn business. 

And as Richard Grenell, the first openly gay Cabinet member in U.S. history points out, there is no ban on travel to the 69 countries that criminalize homosexuality. 

Richard Grenell. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

Richard Grenell. REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

So, sure, buy a timeshare in Tehran, but whatever you do, stay the hell out of Key West. 

But these L.A. County creeps claim that this Florida bill is about stifling safe exploration of ideas. You know, like they’re discussing Bezos’s next space flight or the future of electric cars. 

No, it’s about sex, and no sane person wants an adult initiating that b——- with your 5-year-old. At best, it’s gross, and at worst, it’s predatory. 

The board also banned travel to Texas after that state categorized some transgender medical procedures for minors as child abuse. They claim that ban impedes children from discovering who they are and feel secure in their sense of self. 

Again, it’s word perversion disguised as enlightenment. No child should undergo unnecessary medical procedures unless it’s hair plugs for babies with huge bald heads — scare me. 

But these idiots think the cure for perhaps a temporary gender confusion is surgery. But you do that and you may just get rid of gay and lesbian adults and replace them with surgically altered heterosexuality. 

How is that not homophobic? Besides, all kids go through phases. For one year, I was convinced I was Lassie. God, I was such a b—-. 

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But Florida must count itself lucky that these L.A. loons aren’t coming. Imagine what they’re like — miserable cretins who look terrible in athletic wear, delivering messages that are meant to show they care when really they just expose themselves as destructive creeps. 

Yeah, they expose themselves. Not surprising. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s opening commentary on the April 8, 2022, edition of “Gutfeld!” 

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