A: I wish I came up with this idea on my own, but it may have been my therapist or a shaman who said, perhaps consider grace. To me, that felt weak, like a cop-out. Like I’m settling. But when you’re keeping score, there’s a winner and a loser. In a marriage, if you want someone to lose, that’s counterproductive to a successful partnership. Grace has to be on the table. Now, I give grace out like Tic Tacs because I’m not losing anything. Offering grace initially felt like stupidity, and now it’s harmony.